Today was terrible.
Gary and I had a terrible argument. It started with a small comment and I overreacted with my hormonal bullshit. Sometimes I really hate being a girl.
I guess I don't really feel like diving into it much. I'm pretty beat up about it. It just ended up reinforcing my hidden thoughts about how much I suck.
Certain things about me just aren't the same anymore. My feelings show more than they used to. I'm not as tough (physically) as I used to be. I have weird stipulations about certain things that I never used to have a problem with.
Maybe I'm just trying to have control over my life, or part of it.
I think I've been traumatized. Maybe I'm trying to make it worse than it was. Maybe it really was that bad and I've been suppressing that. I don't know.
But we had a huge stupid fight and I don't like myself any better for it, and if he comes back tonight, he's probably going to want to talk about it and I don't want to. I'm emotionally tired and I have a very terrible headache.
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